Ah, the glory days of summer. We’re more than halfway through now, knee-deep in discarded fruit from the Pimm’s and pink-in-the-middle barbecued chicken, to match our pink-in-the-middle barbecued bodies. Bliss. I’m in Wales this week, which is to fashion-watching as Woking is to whale-watching, but still. At this point in the season it’s clear that summer style tribes have been established; the looks there for the picking and the keeping should you so wish. So which summertime breed are you?
- Floral-print tea dress and wedgie espadrilles: this has emerged as a key trend for summer 2011, an absolute uniform of our time. Go to any fête, feast or function and you will witness the look, in all its drippy glory. The problem is, there’s not a great deal of glory to it. It’s shy attire, for the tentative dresser who doesn’t really want to make a fuss and plans to walk home to save on a taxi fare. Style points: low, I’m afraid. I’d give it two cheesy pineapples and a cold sausage on a stick.
- Denim short-shorts, tiddly camisole, thick-strap flattie sandals, trilby: now you’re talking. This is a marriage of the practical and the practically insane, particularly if your cut-offs are audacious enough to reveal a cheeky cheek or two, as is expected. Done with aplomb, a post-1990 birth certificate and a raffia basket bag, it is cute and cool. Anyone over 21 – other than Kate Moss and Alexa Chung – need not apply. Style points: mid-ranking. I’ll give it a grudging thumbs up and a weak smiley face.
A pint of prosecco and a chocolate-dipped strawberry to the lady in the Missoni maxidress and aviators
- Playsuit, mismatched earrings and Hunter wellies: this look, straight out of toddler group, just won’t go away. Again, one for the very young or the idiotic, the cut-down jumpsuit remains a stalwart of the festival circuit, despite the access difficulties encountered in countless Portaloos across the fields of this great land. Style points: fair-to-middling. I’ll award three shots of tequila and a high five.
- Maxidress, gladiators, uber-super-dooper shades: another uniform, but with a bit more punch than the floral-wedgie combo above. If you’ve been going maxi since the first snowdrops of spring, you’ll know what a simple solution it offers: the stubbly legs of the nation have fared well in its cloaking embrace, while a maxi categorically demands a benevolent flat shoe. Add heels and it goes all Coleen Rooney. Style points: high. A pint of prosecco and a chocolate-dipped strawberry to the lady in the Missoni maxidress and the Ray-Ban aviators.
- Mankles: these curiosities have become the mark of a well-turned-out gent this summer – we’ve come to love and admire that slice of hairy shin between slip-on shoe and trouser-hem, particularly if it belongs to David Gandy. Personally, I’m all in favour. Men look somehow more fun in the sun if they have rolled up their trews, as if they’d happily build a sandcastle or rub Ambre Solaire into your naked back. Style points: top-notch. I’ll give it three cocktail umbrellas and a round of flaming sambucas. Happy holidays!
